Dear Dr Marigold,

I live in a house where my person is always buying new things. Last week she bought a new thing and another yesterday and another today. I hate new things. They make me nervous. What can I do ?

Anxious of Queensbury

Dear Anxious of Queensbury,

New Thing Anxiety Syndrome is common to many cats but you should not be too concerned about this.

When encountering a New Thing in your house first examine it carefully from a safe distance to make sure it is safe and then approach cautiously to within sniffing range. Have a good smell of the New Thing and get used to its aroma. Then jump up on it and walk all over it, roll on it and then scratch it with your claws, lightly at first but, after a few seconds, really get those little paws working hard. Continue scratching the New Thing for about a minute.

Then, and only then, complete the procedure by throwing up all over the New Thing. It helps if you have had a good meal beforehand. I recommend sardines in tomato sauce as this produces splendid results.

Then wander off as if nothing has happened and have a nice cat nap.

That should make you feel much better about the New Thing but if not,  and you still feel bad, dash outside, run up a tree, stay there and hope that the New Thing goes away.

Hope that helps. Marigold.